What to Do When Your Toddler Won't Cooperate for Family Photos?
Family · From the blog
My parents once turned the car around and cancelled a whole family vacation before we'd left the state. Not traffic. Not weather. Me, in the back seat, at full volume.
So when your two year old melts down in the parking lot before I've taken a single frame, I get it. That was me, before I became part of the solution. Don't lose hope though. A little chaos is actually a good thing.
I was the tantrum kid.
The short version
one
A little chaos is a good thing.
Toddlers don't hide anything.
two
Your only job.
Look at your kid like they're doing the cutest thing you've ever seen.
three
Before you leave the house.
Feed everyone, tell me about naps, no-no zone, reward not threat.
four
I was the tantrum kid.
I get it.
A little chaos is a good thing
Toddlers don't hide anything.
Whatever they feel shows up on their face half a second later, no filter, no regard for the photographer's plans. Every adult in the frame is doing a little face management. Chin out, shoulders back, the smile you save for the DMV. I do it too. The three year old isn't managing anything, and once one person in the family stops performing, everybody loosens up. The kid you're apologizing for is usually the one doing me a favor.
The mysterious stranger in the leaves
I get on the ground, or into the leaves, with them and get dirty myself.
What a toddler expects from a grown up is to be told no, from way up there. So when a mysterious stranger with a camera plops down next to them in the leaves and tosses a handful in the air that lands all over his own head, you can almost see their mood flip. That's what I'm after. Not the leaves. The flip. From there I gently steer whatever they're into toward something I can photograph. How much standing still we do depends entirely on the kid.
One leaf, one grin. The flip, about ninety seconds in.
My two tools
Fart noises, and my exquisite and surprisingly realistic cat meow.
I'm not proud of either. The fart noises get bigger laughs. The meow gets better eye contact, especially from four year olds, who are my core demographic.
Noodles · Editor in Chief
The fart noises are beneath me. The meow is derivative.
It was never about one photo
This isn't old school film stock we're working with.
Nobody's rationing frames, waiting for the one second when all five of you look at me at once. That photo will probably happen. It's just not the only one worth having. What I'm collecting is all of it: the funny looks, the argument over the pile of leaves, the laugh so hard somebody snorts. The best part of a book isn't the cover, it's every page after it. Why should your photos be any different? It's why I named a session The Picture Book.
Shameless promotion
The Print Edition
A custom magazine-style picture book of your own. My sessions are meant to be flipped through, not hung on a wall. Although you can do that too.
Your one job
You're going to want to get annoyed, or tell them to be good. Please don't.
Even if all they're doing is the exact opposite of what you asked, and laughing maniacally as they run off.
Picture two photos. A child laughing. Or a child giggling while a parent looks on with a big smile. The second one has twice the emotion, because now there's a story in it.
A kid on a bridge, smiling at me. Nice.
A kid with a flower while dad beams. This one, every time.
Now imagine you're scowling at them. Yeah. Not so good anymore.
So your entire job is to look at your kid like they're doing the cutest thing you've ever seen. Even when it's eating sand. Especially then.
Somebody else's words for it
"He was so great with my littlest one. She had to be woken up from her nap in order to get magic hour sunlight and was a mess, but Daniel turned her bad mood around and got some amazing pictures. Which honestly seemed impossible as I drove her to the photo spot half asleep and crying."
Erin · Google review
Half asleep and crying in the car isn't a bad start. It's just a start.
Four things, all before you leave the house
1
Feed everybody.
Hungry is the one mood I can't work with. This includes you.
2
Tell me about naps when we book.
Golden hour doesn't move, but knowing what we're up against changes how I run the first twenty minutes.
3
Make the morning a no-no zone.
Your mood walking in tells them everything. If you're worked up and saying no every thirty seconds, they'll match it. Unless it's a safety thing, the word no takes the day off.
4
Reward, don't threaten.
Don't take away the iPad. Build them up instead, starting that morning: "After we meet our friend at the beach who happens to have a camera, we're getting ice cream!" Remind them what they're getting, not what they'll lose.
Samantha · From Accounting
Apparently I am lactose intolerant. That doesn't stop me.
Why I get it
I hate taking pictures of everyone standing in a line smiling at me about as much as your toddler hates standing in the line.
We're on the same team, she and I. She just doesn't know it yet.
If you've been waiting to book until the kids are older and easier, I'd think that over.
Older and easier is a different kid.
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